


Sasuke's Saucy Treat

by Guratta



Category: Naruto, Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bonding, Brotherly Angst, Crack, Dattebayo, I wonder if that was awkward, Jiraiya and Pain are also here, M/M, Mario's Brother, Secret Crush, Sexual Roleplay, oh and Sakura too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:22:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14251953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guratta/pseuds/Guratta
Summary: Love sometimes finds us in the unlikeliest of places. In Sasuke's case, it's apparently a cartoonishly drawn plumber with a great honking nose. A /sexy/ nose.The winds of fate have brought them together, but will Luigi be able to handle it? Will their hidden feelings come out?? Will Naruto ever shut up???





	Sasuke's Saucy Treat

Luigi wanders through the Anime Expo, a tattered map of the convention centre in his hand. He really wanted to find the furry meet-up, but the map was just too gosh-darned confusing. With a dejected sigh, he sits down on a bench next to a brooding anime boy. He lets himself sink against the wall until the only part of himself touching the bench is his back.

"Do I know you?"

Luigi jolts upright. The strange, stilted voice seems to have come from the boy beside him. The boy is peering at him with a strange look in his dark eyes.

"Umm…" responds Luigi, intelligently. "I don't think so."

The boy nods, looking forward once more. He places his elbows upon his knees, folding his hands in front of his mouth. "What is your name?"

Luigi brightens. "I'm-a Luigi, numbah one! Luigi, ichiban!"

The boy does not respond.

"Uh. M-Maybe you have heard-a of mah brother, Mario. He is-a rather famous. "

"Perhaps you have heard of my clan, the Uchiha. We are rather famous as well."

Luigi does not respond.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha," says Sasuke, "and I am an avenger."

"A-Avenger?" stutters Luigi.

Sasuke nods. "Yes. You see, my brother massacred my entire clan. I plan to get my retribution."

"Ah." Luigi nods, a look of understanding crossing his features. "Mah brother always gets-a da fame and da glory. Really annoys-a me. One day I-a will get my day to-a shine. Brothers, huh?"

Sasuke glances at him sideways. "Totally."

They sit in comfortable silence for a minute. Luigi isn't quite sure what to say to break that silence, but then Sasuke does it for him.

"So, Luigi. Your brother… do you despise him?"

Luigi thinks a moment, then nods vigorously. "He-a always gets-a da chicks. And he-a does a lot of-a mushrooms. Even though I'm-a ichiban!"

"Then we are very similar, you and I… my friend." Sasuke turns his head toward Luigi and makes some facial contortion that Luigi believes to be a smile.

Luigi gapes as Sasuke's hand reaches toward him, though he does not pull away. He feels a caress on his palm, but he does not see it. Luigi cannot tear his eyes away from the gently spinning tomoe in Sasuke's blood-red eyes.

When had they turned red!?

Sasuke starts and pulls his hand away. "I'm… I'm sorry, Luigi. You just remind me of… somebody I know. He also has a propensity for wearing bright colours and proclaiming himself the best." He swallows. "Luigi… would you be perhaps interested in spending some time with me?"

Wordlessly, Luigi nods. He lets Sasuke lead him by the hand into an empty room. It's dark and the only furniture inside appears to be a table. Before he can take in the rest of the room, Sasuke shuts the door and darkness crashes in.

"Sasuke, what—"

He doesn't get to say anymore before the Uchiha's lips press against his. Before Luigi can blink, Sasuke is wordlessly undoing the cord wrapped around his waist and undoing the clasps on the other man's overalls. Luigi scrambles.

"Wait a minute, Sasuke!" he says, pushing him away. But the Uchiha's sole survivor is taller—stronger. For the first time, Luigi panics. "Sasuke, what are you doin'!?"

"I'm—I'm sorry," Sasuke pants. He peels the denim away from Luigi's struggling body, letting it pool at their ankles. "I am genuinely sorry. But I must. I must have you."

Those are the only words Luigi receives as Sasuke roughly turns him around and slams his head upon the table. All too soon, Luigi feels a pressure at his boy pussy. It's hard, and slightly moist. He tries to push away, but Sasuke has his arms pressed against his back; a moment later, the hardness has pushed its way inside and Luigi yelps from the pain.

"No! Nooooo! Itai, itai!"

Sasuke simply grunts as he thrusts in and out, caressing Luigi's moustache from behind.

"Luigi… could you please… tell me how much you want to be Hokage."

Luigi is tearing up from the pain, but he doesn't think it's strong enough to alter his hearing to this extent. "Hokage?"

"Yes."

"What—What-a is that!?"

"Fire Shadow!"

"F-Fire Shadow? I'm…I'm gonna be Fire Shadow..?"

"No! Hokage! More enthusiasm!"

"I'm—I'm gonna be Hokage!"

Sasuke makes a noise that sounds like "hnnng" and his knees buckle slightly. His pace quickens, and Luigi tries not to scream into the darkness.

"Sasuke, please-a stop this!"

"No, I—please Luigi—let me have this. Please… please say 'believe it'. Just those two little words…"

"What!?"

"Please!"

"B-B-Believe-a it!"

"More confident! And less Italian!"

"Believe it!"

And just like that, Sasuke is undone. He comes with the indomitable force of the entire Uchiha clan. As he pumps his seed into the plumber's tired pipe, Luigi can swear he hears Sasuke mumble some nonsense like "daruto" or "narulo". Maybe Sasuke had a crush on Jason Derulo?

As Sasuke's love stick is still ejecting the genes of the Uchiha, The lights suddenly turn on. Luigi squints, his body feeling numb and shaky. He peels his face away from the table and looks toward the doorway, where a stranger stands with his finger on the light switch. He is wearing a gaudy orange-and-black jumpsuit, the lights of the convention centre filtering through his bright yellow hair. Behind him are a number of similarly oddly-coloured strangers: a girl with pink hair; a man with white hair and a red tunic; a man with bright orange hair and a significant number of nose piercings.

Sasuke suddenly withdraws himself amongst a shuffling of cloth. Luigi assumes he has covered himself. His behind suddenly feels a chill.

"Um. Hello," says Sasuke shakily. "Why are you guys here?"

As Luigi slowly turns around to pull his overalls back on, the blond boy speaks.

"W-We're supposed to be here, dattebayo!" the boy yells. He's clearly angry, but Luigi sees a blush on his whiskered cheeks. It is then that Luigi notices a large sign in the front of the room, labelled "Naruto: Shippuden Meet-Up".

Oh-a no.

"Teme! What are you doing to Mario's brother!? Dattebayo!"  
"Shut up, dobe. You know exactly what."

The boy—Naruto—glares at Sasuke. The others behind him whisper amongst themselves and silently back away, closing the door behind them. Silence overwhelms the three of them for several long seconds, before Naruto breaks it.

"Dattebayo! Sasuke, you should have told me how you felt, dattebayo!"

Sasuke looks shocked. "Y-You heard me? At the end..?"

"Yes, you idiot! Dattebayo! Using Mario's brother like that… coulda just asked, dattebayo!"

And with that, Naruto stomps over to Sasuke and plants a big kiss on his lips. With copious amounts of tongue.

They're going at it furiously now, a mess of hands and lips, and Luigi stands there awkward and used. Naruto opens one eye, peering at Luigi. He breaks the kiss long enough to mutter "get out of here, Mario's brother, dattebayo" and then dives right back in.

Luigi's brow furrows in anger as he heads to the door. Sasuke pays him no mind, absorbed in the orange ninja.

He shouts, "My name-a is Luigi!" before slamming the door on his way out.

The sound shocks Naruto and Sasuke for a moment, before Naruto shrugs and says "Dattebayo."

 


End file.
